


Transformation

by CandyCrackpot



Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: M/M, neah you're such a dork, some mentions of violence and death but nothing too serious, the feels are more dangerous
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-20
Updated: 2017-05-20
Packaged: 2018-11-02 22:32:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10954071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CandyCrackpot/pseuds/CandyCrackpot
Summary: Neah's awakening. Thankfully, Allen is there by his side to the end. NeaPasta. Warning: mentions of violence and death.





	Transformation

**Author's Note:**

> I carved NeAllen so I wrote NeAllen¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ Enjoy.

Neah woke with a groan, agony once again ripping through his heaving body. His muscles spasmed and his heart thundered painfully in his chest. But worst of all was his head. His forehead stung, his brain felt as if it would explode any minute and he could swear even his hair hurt. And then those grotesque, sickening visions... As if _something_ buried deep in his old, forgotten memories was clawing their way out. He coughed up another mouthful of blood, hazily registering a wet towel wipe it away.

At first he thought he merely got a heatstroke from hanging out in the fields so long. He couldn't help it, he couldn't stay inside of that home when Mana looked like he was at the door of death. He felt he should have been with him, but he didn't want to cry in front of him.

At first there was just dizziness with a light headache, that grew into nausea and and a damn migraine, fast. And then he vomited. The bile was stinking and bitter, but the truly alarming fact about it was that it was almost black. He vomited blood. Panic welled in him, terror that he would faint and then die. Hearing a familiar voice alleviated his worry a fraction before he lost consciousness.

Cracking an eye open, he met concern bleeding silver ones. "You gave Miss Campbell quite a scare," he remarked lacking his usual mocking tone. "You've been out cold for nearly four days, either howling at the pain and hallucinations in delirium or screaming until you went hoarse from nightmares." So that's why his throat felt so raw and vocal cords burning.

Ah, poor mother of his. He felt a tingle of guilt for causing her grief, she already had her hands full with caring for Mana. But knowing Allen, he probably convinced her to care for Mana while he looked after Neah.

Despite the pain he managed to crack a smirk. "How unlike you to come running for my help."

Allen scowled at him lightly. Oh damn, he must be truly worried if he doesn't sass him. "You threw up blood, Neah," he said quietly.

Neah. Not even Campbell. Wow.

"Come now, you know I won't go down that easy."

Allen shot him a look, not buying his obvious bravado. After all, they grew up together. The boy knew and read him well. That was a Bookman Junior for you.

Allen was a blessing compared to gazing at the horizon longingly. There were no other kids around and when he met them they were all so mean to him. He was a bastard child, they said, and his mother was a whore. But in the end they were the ones sobbing, Neah always beat up those nasty crybabies. No one insulted their saint of a mother. Incidents like this led him to become quite asocial and suspicious, which cut him off even more. It was lonely, always being on his own, so even an ass - an ass with a heart of gold though - like Allen was welcome.

Wordlessly Allen squeezed a drenched towel and replaced it with a half-dried and bloody one from Neah's forehead. His frown deepened seeing the soiled towel dye the water in red.

Neah sighed feeling the blissfully cool water on his feverish skin, it numbed his pain somewhat. Just enough to open both eyes and have an actual look.

Allen has been considerate enough to draw the curtains - despite that he still felt it was too bright. Soft silk sheets tangled around his his body, light and nearly weightless. Next to him on the nightstand a basin was placed, no doubt to clean him. Despite how much he remembered sweating prior to passing out, he didn't feel that sticky. Allen washed him. Brows furrowing, he glanced back at Allen, only noticing now how ashy pale his face looked. He reached a hand out to cradle Allen's cheek, making him pause. His finger brushed the dark circles under his silver eyes. "You look dead. When was the last time you had a wink of sleep?"

Allen hummed in reply, exhaustion making him distracted. "Oh, ah, a week I think."

"A WEEK?!" His vocal cords and raw throat were on fire, yet he couldn't withhold that screech as he shot up into sitting position. It was a huge mistake. His body shook with the onslaught of hacking after his outburst and Allen quickly moved to rub soothing circles on his back. As it somewhat subsided, Neah glared at him. "Why the hell are you still awake? If you care for me while you're weak you're going to catch whatever crap I'm having right now."

Allen gave him an odd look. "Neah, you're not sick."

Neah almost physically recoiled at the absurdity. "What do you mean I'm not sick?! I feel absolute shit! What _else_ do you think I am?!"

For once, Allen didn't return Neah's fire with his own; he inhaled sharply and then exhaled loudly. Neah was left puzzled when Allen stood up and headed for his messy desk. He was truly flabbergasted to see him pick up an ornate hand mirror from among the unfinished musical scores. Not one of Allen's facial muscles moved as he came back to him, mutely handing the mirror over. Hesitantly, Neah reached out and took the item, turning its reflective surface to face him.

His eyes widened seeing his reflection. The hold on the handle went slack and the looking glass fell out of his hand onto the covers.

"What the hell…"

A demon. He wanted to laugh. In the end, those mean brats were right. He truly was a monster.

Dark skin that was neither really brown, nor grey. Golden irises, pupils shrunk to slits. Seven strange cross-markings on his forehead. So inhuman.

A hand clasped around his concerned, snapping Neah back to reality, making him realise he had been giggling. His face felt wet too.

Ah, he truly cracked. He gave Allen an apologetic grimace; he scowled in return. Allen's hand tightened around his, his thumb rubbing soothing circles on the back if his palm, the other reaching up to his face to wipe away his tears.

"You're not a demon," he clarified softly, still caressing his knuckles, deep in thought.

"What is happening to me?" Neah demanded. "What is… What am I becoming?"

There was a pregnant pause, filled with hesitation. It felt so _wrong_ , the cocky Allen he knew never hesitated.

In the end, Allen too knew that he couldn't keep this a secret forever. "You're turning into a Noah."

Neah blinked rapidly. Then he understood. Noah. Allen told him a little about them. They were some sort of inclusive, powerful clan of superhumans who shaped the history of the world. But from what he heard, they did nothing but sow chaos and destruction.

So that's why he saw such gruesome visions. Of darkness and blood and death and massacres and mountains of corpses.

The memory of Noah was awakening within him - and wanted him and his ultimate proof of loyatly. The Devil was calling for him and the blood of Cain cackled in his veins, crafting him nightmares of murdering Mana. His Mana. His beloved brother. He vividly recalled the feel of blood on his hands, singing for him.

It felt so real.

It felt so unreal.

It felt so wrong.

It felt so _good_.

Even now, it was there: an unexplainable impulse, an urge. Mana was right across the hallway. He knew it. He could feel it. Like some predator that caught scent of its prey. If he got out if bed and stumbled over… Mana would be lying there, vulnerable. Just get close to him then-

He shoved the mental picture away before it made him gag. He'd never hurt Mana. Ever.

The feeling still didn't go away.

He directed his straying attention back to the redhead, heart hammering in his ribcage.

"You knew?"

Was everything a lie? Did Allen only befriend him to witness this?

Allen flinched hearing the question, face white. He quickly shook his head. "I… knew there was something up with you. You were really out of it lately. But I never knew you're a host until I've seen the Holy Marks."

Neah's tense shoulders fell and hung defeated. "What will happen to me now?" He whispered softly, his grip trembling around his blanket. Neah licked his quivering dry lips. "Am I… Am I going to disappear?"

His new golden eyes sought Allen fearfully, wordlessly begging him to deny, to tell him it was going to be alright.

Allen averted his eyes.

Neah's heart sank.

"I have no idea what happens to the host when the transformation kicks in," Allen admitted. "As far as I know, the Bookman Clan has no records of Noah awakening. I… have no idea what I could do for you."

Tense second ticked by as Neah attempted to process everything, the fear of the unknown weighing down on him heavily.

These could very well be his last moments.

"If you want to…" Neah snapped his eyes at Allen, who still didn't meet his. "I can… Tie you down… To make sure you won't... I'll tell Bookman I did it out of self-defen-"

Allen didn't get to finish. His silver eyes rounded white, body frozen in shock until Neah retracted his lips from his.

Neah gave an apologetic grimace and let out a deranged laugh. He was so pathetic. He got so panicked at the prospect of death, he dove in and stole a kiss from Allen.

He didn't even properly tell the boy of his dreams how much he loved him.

He couldn't even keep these suppressed feelings so it wouldn't get in the way of his career.

His heart clenched seeing Allen reach up to trace his pink lips. As amazing as this felt he couldn't stop feeling he was filth for dumping his one sided love on Allen like that and wish Allen loved him back and they could continue to kiss until the end of time.

"I'm sorry, Allen."

_Sorry for kissing you and leaving like that._

He couldn't keep himself from crying anymore. He couldn't lie himself everything was going to be alright.

"I-"

Just as he stole Allen's breath, Allen stole his. For a second he was frozen, unable to comprehend that Allen was kissing him, but thankfully his body caught up on it.

His eyelids slipped closed and he tilted his head to the side to deepen his kiss. Neah pushed a hesitant tongue to Allen's lips, poking nervously. His heart fluttered when he was granted access. All thoughts melted away into passion. He conveyed everything he held in: his joy, his sorrow, his fear, his desperation… He laid himself bare for Allen and accepted the ones he got in return.

He broke away when another surge of pain rushed through him, making him whimper. He couldn't even cry out anymore.

Allen gently pushed him back into lying position. "Try and get some rest, even if you don't sleep."

He paused when Neah captured his hand. "Allen. I think my transformation is going to end soon." His instinct said so. Next time he woke up, he might be a completely different person. "I might not make it back and I know it's selfish to ask this but-"

He was cut off by Allen's mouth aggressively slamming into his, silencing him. The kiss was unlike the gentle, hesitant one they shared; this was full of passionate all-consuming fire that made his blood boil and head spin. He felt a bit lightheaded when Allen pulled away with a scowl. "If you want more of this, make sure you return, asshole."

_You have to come back. You must. Mana, Road and Miss Campbell are waiting for you. **I'm** waiting for you._

Neah cracked a smile, face twisting into exasperated fondness. "Of course. I'll take the liberty to kiss the life out of you when I'm back."

"Deal."

Exhaustion finally overpowered Neah, he struggled to keep his eyes open. He didn't want this wonderful moment to end, he didn't want to wake up covered in blood, standing over Allen's still warm corpse. He wanted to be with Allen so badly now that he knew his affection was mutual.

His eyes slid close. "This might be a bit childish but… would you do me a favour?" This might be his last wish, Allen will surely do it without a word. "Would you sing that song for me?"

His lips twitched into a grateful smile when a hand came to intertwine with his hair, followed by Allen's soft singing. Damn, he needed to write a piano piece where Allen got to show this beautiful voice.

 _Once I'm back_ , he promised as he slipped back into unconsciousness, steeling himself for whatever Noah had in charge for him.

**Author's Note:**

> I know we have very little canon material of these two, just mere fragments, but still, you have to be awfully close to someone to offer yourself as a sacrifice to save them and help them achieve their self-destructive goal. Especially is the price is worse than death, because it will make you too will disappear completely. I wanted to give these two something akin to a backstory. I'm really curious how they will work out in canon.
> 
> Well, this was fun, I hope you guys enjoyed it as well! Please review and tell me what you think. See you around ヾ(＠＾▽＾＠)ﾉ


End file.
